The Inatorinator
by KateMarie999
Summary: Dr. Doofenshmirtz wants to save time on his inventions. Of course, Perry the Platypus comes in messing it all up. One-shot but if you all like it, I may do more.


_Hello from the most bipolar state in America (in terms of weather)._

_Due to the sudden and abrupt onset of fall weather after a week of blistering heat, I began to realize that I would miss summer. And then last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, this idea came to me and was entertaining me so much, I just had to write it out. It took me most of the day to write this so... enjoy!_

_~KateMarie999_

_P.S. I thought I should credit the person who gave me the idea for this. I won't say his name but it was someone I worked with a long time ago at a summer camp who used to tell the campers Phineas and Ferb stories and Doofenshmirtz's invention in some of those stories was the Inatorinator. In further considering why he would name an invention the Inatorinator, I came up with the idea for this story._

**The Inatorinator**

Perry the Platypus had a pretty good life. He had loving owners who took very good care of him (though, as far as humans went, they certainly were odd). The owners were intelligent enough to build gigantic things like a roller coaster in a single eight hour period but were thankfully oblivious to the fact that their pet would disappear for most of the day. Sure they _noticed _but fortunately for him, they didn't do more than question it once and then welcome him back when he returned.

This massive oversight made Perry's secret life as a crime fighter so much easier. One day in late July, he awoke and casually strolled outside. His owners had already met up with their friends and were talking about the day's activities.

"Hi, Phineas. Whatcha doin'?" Perry heard the neighbor girl ask as he walked by, trying to be as nonchalant as possible.

"Oh hi, Isabella. Well… actually we don't know yet." said one of his owners amiably.

This was as much of the conversation he overheard. He had received instructions the day before (through the leftover alphabet soup he had been told to look at) as to where the entrance to the O.W.C.A headquarters would be this day. Today it was located underneath the rain gutter, which was a relatively normal entrance today. As long as it didn't rain (and it hardly ever did in Danville), no one would notice the entrance. Of course if it _did _rain, the entrance would have been completely flooded and Perry would not have been able to get to work. For a gigantic superhero organization that dealt in secrecy, O.W.C.A. certainly didn't plan ahead very well. After climbing up the side of the house, Perry found the entrance at last. Getting out his trademark fedora, he lifted the gutter and slid down.

As Perry slid down the slide to the headquarters, he tipped his hat to the Chihuahua sliding down nearby and as he passed under the backyard of his own house, he overheard Phineas excitedly say "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today! Hey, where's Perry?"

He landed, as usual, in a chair facing a gigantic screen. On the screen was… no one. Perry crossed his arms and continued to stare, knowing that someone would figure out he had showed up eventually.

After about two minutes in which Perry was beginning to feel increasingly uncomfortable, a young man in his early twenties showed up on the screen, looking sheepishly at Perry through large, purple glasses.

"I'm sorry, Perry. It seems Major Monogram was stuck in traffic this morning. There was some kind of major backup thanks to a very popular dinner theater that opened just moments ago right on your block. Well, now I guess it's a… lunch theater." Carl the intern chuckled unconvincingly.

Perry stared at the screen, not sure how to react to this. For some reason, this seemed to make Carl very uncomfortable.

"Anyway," Carl cleared his throat and put on his best Major Monogram impression. "Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying up all kinds of odds and ends like electric pencil sharpeners, left-handed scissors, dozens of jars of peanut butter, and no less than thirty-two lime green shoelaces. His credit card records show a huge list of other random items as well. We can't figure out what he's up to but whatever it is, it's up to you to stop him."

Perry, now looking determined, nodded once and hopped off the chair. He ran over to the jetpack waiting for him and took off.

A few seconds after Perry disappeared, Major Monogram ran into the headquarters, completely out of breath.

"I'm here!" he exclaimed, running to the camera as fast as he could.

As soon as he got in front of it, he grabbed the transcript out of Carl's hands and began to read it very fast.

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying up all kinds of odds and ends…"

"Sir…"

"…electric pencil sharpeners, left handed scissors…"

"Sir…"

"…list of other random items as well… Carl, you spelled 'random' wrong…"

"_Sir!_"

"_What is it, Carl?_" Major Monogram finally asked, looking up at Carl from the transcript.

"I already did that, sir." Carl admitted, looking rather trepid at interrupting his boss.

Major Monogram and Carl stared at each other for a moment.

"Oh…"

* * *

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz put the finishing touches on his newest and, in his opinion, greatest invention yet. This would be the downfall of his nemesis, the semi-aquatic monotreme known as Perry the Platypus. This, he reasoned, would be the one that would allow him to take over the _entire tri-state area!_

Moments later, his nemesis burst through the side of his building, leaving chunks of purple rock all over his floor. Oh well, he thought, he usually had enough money left in the alimony check Charlene dropped off to hire someone to fix the hole in his roof before the next day.

"Ahh, Perry the Platypus. You may be wondering why I don't have a trap set up for you today." said Doofenshmirtz, grinning mischievously. "That's because I don't _need _one today!"

Large hands grabbed Perry around the waist and before he could react, he was lifted fifty feet from the ground.

"Hello, Perry." Said the cheerful voice Perry knew belonged to Norm, the giant robot Doofenshmirtz often used as a sort of assistant. "I am your trap today!"

"Yes, you see I didn't have time to create a trap for you so I just asked Norm to do it." Doofenshmirtz waved his hand in a halfhearted gesture.

"You see? I'm helpful!" Norm exclaimed in that eerily happy voice again.

"Yes, Norm, thank you." Doofenshmirtz said, sounding slightly irritated. "You may be wondering why I've purchased all these seemingly unrelated items. You see, Perry the Platypus, I spend a lot of time inventing my Inators. It takes most of the day to put them together and the rest of the day to clean up after you destroy them. This leaves me no free time, which is why I created my latest and greatest invention!"

Doofenshmirtz, smiling evilly, grabbed the cloth concealing the oddly shaped object underneath and pulled it off.

"Behold… the Inatorinator!" he cried, grandly throwing up his arms in a gesture to heighten the wonder of the invention.

Perry stared at the invention, bewildered. It certainly _looked _like a metallic platypus. Sensing his confusion, Doofenshmirtz faltered a bit.

"Yes, I know it _looks _like you, I didn't want it to look like a person. And while I was drawing up the plans, it sort of came out like that… perhaps I should have thought a bit more about the design… no matter!" Doofenshmirtz rambled. He began walking toward Norm, looking at Perry from the ground. "You see, all my life I have been… Norm could you maybe lower Perry the Platypus, I don't like staring up at him, it makes it seem like he's being all condescending or something. I like to look _down _at my nemesis!"

"Of course!" said Norm as he lowered the bemused platypus so he was several inches below Doofenshmirtz's gaze.

Thank you, Norm. Anyway, where was I… ahh yes! All my life, I have been forced to do things that distract me from pursuing my hobbies! In Drusselstein, I was forced to be a garden gnome 24 hours a day and then even after I came to America, I had to deal with the disaster of my marriage and _now_ with all the inventing I have to do to keep up with you, I don't have any more time to devote to the important things in my life. That's why I've created the Inatorinator. Now _it_ can invent all my inators while I can focus on my hobbies, like… like…" he suddenly looked thoughtful. "umm… heh heh… I probably should have thought of this before taking all the time to invent this thing… yes… well now I have the extra time to do more evil things like… uhh… stop staring at me like that! I have a life outside of this!"

Perry wasn't really sure_ how _he was staring at Doofenshmirtz but he tried to arrange his face into a neutral expression.

"That's better. Well… anyway, the Inatorinator uses all available resources at its disposal to invent the various inators. It's environmental… which I guess isn't very… _evil _on its own but… well, all I have to do is punch in what kind of inator I want it to create and then it'll create it. It even knows how to go onto the internet and purchase what it needs. For some reason, it's left-handed which is rather inconvenient because now I have to buy left-handed versions of household objects… but that doesn't really matter. Already it has created such brilliant time-saving inventions such as the Peanut-butter-inator, which stops peanut butter from sticking on the roof of your mouth. Now that may _seem _like a useless invention but… it's not! It'll shave _seconds_ off of my lunch time!" said Doofenshmirtz, gesturing to an invention that looked like a giant pencil sharpener. "And _this _invention is the Tie-my-shoes-inator! It ties my shoes for me so I have more time to devote to my hobbies, which I _do_ have… I can take up basket weaving, yes… anyway it only works on lime green shoelaces, which I guess is kind of a flaw in the design… but I can go back and fix that with the _plenty _of time I now have at my disposal!"

While rambling, Doofenshmirtz didn't notice Perry taking out a small teal rubber ball he kept in his hat. He pitched this ball toward Norm's neck and it hit exactly where it was supposed to. Perry was a _very _good shot, after all.

"I have been hit." Norm said and the ensuing surprise allowed Perry a moment to escape.

Agent P wasted no time in hopping out of Norm's fist. He did a front hand spring and struck Dr. Doofenshmirtz's face before the oddly dressed scientist could react. This ensued in typical cartoonish physical violence as Doofenshmirtz retaliated by attempting to punch Perry back but Perry leaped out of the way. The agile monotreme grabbed yet another teal ball from his hat and pitched it at the machine.

"No!" Doofenshmirtz cried but too late- the ball hit the Inatorinator's self-destruct button and the machine exploded. "_Curse you, Perry the Platypus!_" he shouted at Perry's retreating form through the hole in the wall.

* * *

"But… but… but…but…"

"Hey kids, how about you come on inside for some fresh lemonade?"

"But it was _there_, mom, it was a gigantic dinner theater… they sold _lobster_…" shouted the teenager of which Perry had never been too fond.

"Yes, Candace, I'm sure they did." said Perry's female middle age owner.

Perry landed in the back yard and quickly hid his parachute and fedora before assuming an unfocused gaze and walking out to greet his owners at the end of the day.

"Oh there you are, Perry." said Phineas.

"You know, perhaps we should devote a day figuring out just _where _Perry goes every day." piped up Ferb.

The stepbrothers looked at each other for a moment.

"Nah." Phineas waved off Ferb's comment. "It's probably boring platypus stuff."

And with that, the stepbrothers and their pet platypus went inside to enjoy a fresh glass of home made lemonade.


End file.
